The Pioneer Central School District family and the Pioneer community recently suffered a heartbreaking loss of members of the Cook family in a tragic house fire. The district’s Crisis Response Team supported students, staff and community members as this tragic information was relayed to the school officials. The Crisis Response Team and the Pioneer Family Support Center (formerly the Center for Positive Solutions) recognize how this loss may continue to impact Pioneer Schools and our community for some time.
Loss and grief can be an intense and emotionally difficult feeling to experience and process. For many of our students, this could be the first time they have experienced these emotions. Adults who are assisting may wonder how to assist these children while they are also experiencing their own emotions and reaction to this heartbreaking event.
Sheri Bell-Beyer of the Pioneer Family Support Center said, "As mental health professionals, we know that grief can be emotionally messy. Grief doesn’t follow any rules or keep to a schedule. Grief reactions may show up in many ways and show up when least expected. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. What will matter for our students, staff, families and community is to figure out what really helps us to manage the grief and all that comes with it."
The Family Support Center offered a few suggestions to assist students, staff, families and our community that may help them navigate their grief as they support one another.
1) Everyone grieves differently as there are many cultures and family beliefs about grief. Providing a listening ear to others becomes important in allowing others to express emotions in a way that make sense to them.
2) Allowing the person to share their grief helps them stay connected to others and feel supported. Grief has no timeline, but it does change over time.
3) Just being present and listening allows the person to move through the grief. Making room for whatever feelings are coming up, is emotionally healthy.
4) Be kind to yourself and others as part of the grieving process includes slowly adjusting to life without the person or persons who passed.
5) Allow yourself and others to celebrate when things are going well, which may be hard to do. It is acceptable to take a break from grief and it doesn’t mean you don’t care, love or even miss the person(s) any less. Grieving is emotionally and physically exhausting and self-care is very important.
There are many resources on grief, and Mrs. Mason provided several links that may help.
Coping with Grief and Loss: Stages of Grief and How to Heal (helpguide.org)
Grief Resources for Kids, Parents, & Supporters | Dougy Center @ www.dougy.org/grief-support-resources https://positivepsychology.com/grief-for-children/
Finally, please remember to ask for or seek help if you or someone you know needs assistance during this difficult emotional time. The Pioneer Family Support Center is here to assist students, families, and staff. Community members may also call and can be assisted in finding the help they are looking for. As a community, we will support one another through this heartbreak.
The Pioneer Family Support Center staff can be reached as follows:
Angela Mason, LCSW 716-492-9485 amason@pioneerschools.org
Sheri Bell-Beyer, LCSW 716-492-9383 sbell-beyer@pioneerschools.org